I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
