I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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