well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
