I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
