Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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