You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
