Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
