So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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