Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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