Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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