i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
