and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
