I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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