I heard we made out
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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