I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This baby is an asshole
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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