are you still at the devil's house?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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