And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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