A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
