she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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