Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
