Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
