just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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