Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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