it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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