the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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