so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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