My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
