Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
