What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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