A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
