Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
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