Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
