My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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