Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
