stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
