Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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