At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
