How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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