Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
