So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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