Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
