Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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