Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
