oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
