ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
