therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We are all done wearing pants today
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
