Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
