I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
only you would photoshop your dick
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
