Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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