O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Four minutes until I can fart!
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
