your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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