Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
