i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
