Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
